at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
