I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize