so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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