$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
