i just wanna soil my oats bro
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
