does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
