Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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