Did you just see the Batmobile???
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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