Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
