Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
