she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
