I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
