is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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