...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
