Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
