So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
