I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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