you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
