The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize