You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
50% drunk capacity currently
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Damn victory sex feels great
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
