don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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