lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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