he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
