apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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