We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
