She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I need water and some morals
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
