dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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