Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize