So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
