i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
