What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
