now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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