I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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