i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
