Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
