is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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