Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
