Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
