Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
