So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
