Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
