Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
