oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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