We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
