Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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