Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
