Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
