Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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