you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
