Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
