That's intense
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
