it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
