I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
