so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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