i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
