It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
