i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
