But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Someone shit on the floor
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
