I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think people are normalizing furries
we're so committed to being not committed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
