It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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