So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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