We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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