I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
