NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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