You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
