Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
