I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
