My hand turned me down
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
