I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
