Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
