Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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