arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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