Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize