I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
