Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize