I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
