where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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