so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well you can't waste a boner
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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